Dear @love-means-war ,
I found it quite appropiate to respond your tender kindness in a manner somehow,and since I see no other way,I believed I had to let my words flow with the burning hope that they would lighten your day,just like your short(yet really meaningful message for me) was a breath of fresh air,some light on a rainy sky for me.
I don’t think I would have died either.She may have never said it either,but I know she is really attached to me.She always was,that’s why she didn’t want me to come into this world.She was so sure that Daliah would leave me,that she just didn’t want to witness this.But I knew best,and so did you,my lady.:) If you think it’s nothing,let me tell you this.What you did,was everything.
I know how tough and irrational this world may be.Trust me.I’ve seen the worst of it.And yet,I also saw the best,so I always kept love and protection as my life ideals.I believe you and your sister are lucky to have each other.You both had it tough,and you are still so caring and loving with each other.I like to think that this applies for my life as well.No matter what happened,I wanted to remain the person who would bring Daliah only happiness when we were reunited.I dreamed of that moment.I lived for it in the most impossible periods.
I don’t know if I am a classical beauty,but I am pretty confident about my looks.But I guess you loved me first,right?I know that she does it as well,now.But you were the first.I really hoped I lived up to your expectations.I don’t like to dissappoint-I’m trying my best for the best.
Well,I never knew how much you were meant to fight for me,my lady.This is so flattering and amazing on so many levels,I may be a little speechless.I can’t understand why,but,thank you.So much.Am I kuudere?I believe this is easily very close to what I yearned to be.Co dependent? I don’t think so.Me and Daliah lived thousands of years without seeing each other,only meeting in our dreams.Brief moments of happiness for us….I’ve witnessed many happening to me,and unfortunately( for this is the worst),to her,as well.I believe what defines us is love-only love,for I need her,just as much as she needs me.She showed me the beauty of this world,and she showed me how much power love gives you to save somebody.You may say that she actually saved me,in every way that a person can be saved,because let me tell you-I was not the first child who was supposed to kill Michael,I was only the first who lived through my father’s experiments and tortures.Because I had someone waiting for me,in a place we promised to go together-and I know that soon in enough we will.And I’ll just think “We made it.We really made it”.So let me reveal something to you-even if my Bella would have get me killed,it wouldn’t have been suicide.She would have made me a incurable illness who would have killed me in my dimenssion(in a Godless place,from where I couldn’t have been recovered).I would never commit suicide.I never considered it,and I never will.For my state,I’d like to share a quote with you,that I simply adore,relate to and I know you do too:
“I’m not afraid of the times I can’t see him. When I feel pain in my chest, my song grows… The scenery feels closer. The next time I see you… I will, once again, fall in love.”Please accept my gratitude,because so far,it’s the best I can grant you.I won’t say I have it tough,I mean…I’m not complaining.It comes natural to me,to take care of everything,and make sure I get the best out of it.But yeah.You may be right.Emperor?That sounds so fancy and noble.I am the consort king,and I am trying to be as good as I can be.I don’t consider my people snobs-they may have small horizons,some of them,but I love how kind they are.How naive.How non corrupted.Tender and pure,so perfect…I always wished for my sister to have been able to live like this.But at least we learnt beauty from everything that’s happened,and we are grateful.I am grateful.And therefore,in matters of happiness,I’ve never been closer to this.
Bless your kind Cancer heart,because my life is sweet because of it.Bless it,because it can beat,and yet so beautiful,against all the odds.Bless you.This is most of my message,thank you so much for reading,again.I like and care for you so very much <3 :* Take care,okay?
PS:I never intended to leave any hidden messages.:O When I said I’m alive,finally,I was refeering that I hadn’t felt alive in a very long time.Like,to fully live,enjoy,treasure…Days were just passing by,and I was lingering after them.I guess things have changed now :) If there’s something else I said and you haven’t understood from my last massage,or from this one,please let me know.I would gladly explain anything to you.If I wouldn’t want you to know something,I wouldn’t include it in my message for you,hoping you will not understand.So,ask me,my lady.I hide nothing.If something would be too painful to speak of,I would just say so :)
PSS:What I included in the first version of my message,but didn’t make it in the sent one,because I forgot about this,was a short opinion of myself about my theme on tumblr.I love metaphors-I live for them.I believe my theme is just an image of my life-black&white in the beginning,stained,and yet gently touched by the colors of a tender flower.I thought it was really beautiful,and I wanted to share this with you.
Best regards,
Eugene Savchenko
(Source: eugene-savchenko, via eugene-savchenko)